Lynne d Johnson

 

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04.15.03 03:04 AM

prisoner of her own mind

She was just learning to filter the modular mania that transported itself through the ether. That which she so wanted to store in those e-filed boxes she once labeled and organized. Just learning to sift through and discard its abundant messages now, several years since her brain 'puter had been wired to the global memory chip, like mother to child joined by umbilical cord. Yet she wasn't feeding from it, it was sucking the very creative juices from her psychical and spiritual mindframe. It preyed on her consciousness stream and state of REM. Receive. Send. Purge. Reload. Hyperlink. She knew the functions personally as if they were her siblings. This was her existence --- day in and day out. It would seem she would have learned how to overcome its forces when the BBS ruled. The BBS Lords too had overtaken the desktop community, and she had been a desktop loyalist so it ruled her also. Still she had not blue printed a plan nor constructed a map to escape it.

The detachable peripherals taught her how to transport all the binaries. And because she could do this with deft ability, she was still a slave to its system. Point and click. Search. Mouseover. When would it end? Lying there on the table, readying for another upload and download exchange she thought she might override it and crash it. She even thought one computation or even a permutation might assist her with hacking into the main vein --- its source. But then she might burn, and of course she feared that. What she wanted was her mind back, not to annihilate the parts of it that were herself. If she could just hold on long enough to feel her limbs once more, perhaps she could reach over and off the switch. But it wouldn't matter because it was everywhere now, and no script or code could sufficiently bug it into oblivion. It was and is an indestructible malefactor. But not of the vicious variety. It just worked itself inside of her, inside every bone and marrow, in a manner that made her became overly dependent upon it. Desperately she tried to remember life before it. Try though her will might, her intent just wouldn't allow such thought patterns.

It was everywhere and nowhere, feeding all the devices that came before. Devices such as voice box, game box, idiot box, and the amplitude modulation and frequency modulation tuner box. And then there were also the newer devices such as wireless voice box, and palm sized data notebooks for making lists and storing GIGO information. The once sacred book of divine inspiration and intelligence had also been forever transformed. Nowhere to run she thought. It had overtaken nearly every home, industry of commerce, entertainment outlet, and communications disseminator. Even the highway had not been safe for quite some time. What kept it living and breathing were others like her, and so she began to think that in order to destroy it she must destroy all of them. If they were no longer connected to it, then it would serve no purpose. A stealth mission was in order. As she secretly detached herself, changed into riot grrl gear, and set out to begin her journey --- the self waged war that she called overload --- she began to think that it was a movement that would certainly bring her impending doom. Had she not heard that the unwired interlopers, devoted allies of its great force, were now making steady haste toward the Northern and Western interiors of the 3rd World Region? Was there no escaping or overturning the ubiquitous networked ether?

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