Lynne d Johnson



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10.08.02 11:11 PM

to blog or not to blog, that is the question

Granted. My life is mad hectic right now. I am so over not having comments working, and then still waiting for my friend to finish working on the new design for my overall site (so I can figure out if I will install a new commenting system on the diary, or move it over to MT). These are some of the reasons I have not been posting quite as often as usual.

But then this post by Jason had me contemplating other reasons as well. I have literally been thinking about his post all day. It made me analyze why I was not in a hurry to talk about Red Dragon, which I left work early to see Friday night. Or even why attending my older sister's birthday party at Malik Yoba's Soul Cafe on Saturday didn't have me running to this diary to post. Better yet, why in the world I did not post last night after I saw Brown Sugar, a movie that utlizes hip-hop as a metaphor for a love relationship? I mean I had reserved seats. It was a premiere screening with the stars of the film — Taye Diggs, Sanaa Lathan, Nicole Ari Parker, and Boris Kodjoe — all in attendance. The movie even had me amped. Not so much about the love relationship but more about the concept or premise of the movie. How things in the movie reminded me of my initial love for hip-hop, then my love and hate relationship with it, and even some of my initial motivations for writing. I used to study Greg Tate and Nelson George as they wrote about hip-hop in the Village Voice while I was in school studying journalism. When I came out and discovered The Source, I was all gushy about hip-hop meaning enough to warrant a magazine. This was definitely something I should have posted about, because I am only touching the surface here of all that movie had me recollecting and projecting. I think Jason helped me discover my rationale on this matter. This matter of my not posting about events in my life. Or maybe, not even feeling it like I once did.

I know this whole blogging thing works because for the most part, human nature causes us to be voyeurs. But damn, my life is not all that interesting. Really it isn't. Not even my thoughts, critiques, and analyses of pop culture. Who cares? My ego ain't that big that I have to talk about myself all the time either, nor have folks reading about or inquiring into my life. There are much bigger issues out there. Sometimes, in reviewing this diary I wonder if it even looks like I care about anything. Yeah, technology and hip-hop. I know you read my bio, so you know these things matter to me. But what about these things matter to me? And what relevance do these things hold to what is going on in the world? I need a spark in the dark, or a walk around the park. Something to infuse some fiery activisim in this here brain 'puter. I need to be 'bout it. I need to manifest something that illustrates some kind of substance.

Give me a second to figure it out. I know I will. And damn, there I go again with all those "I"s.

posted by lynne | |


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