Lynne d Johnson

 

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03.11.04 09:28 PM

man, i really gotta' write

i really haven't been saying much up in here, but it's so hard to write as of late. probably why i have no more black thoughtware column on popmatters.com. so much of my day is spent utilizing my MBA, tech, and editing skills, that i really can't get to the writing myself, and thus the writing here, in this space suffers too. aight, so if you happen to read that magazine that's part of the same co. i work for, you know i have a digital music column there, but that's not really flexing my true writing abilities. and lord, i don't know the last time i freelanced for someone.

k, yeah, so i reworked a book chapter recently, and am working on one of my own proposals, but is that an excuse, for not being able to turn out some interesting, and meaningful prose? no, don't answer that. i will. it's not an excuse. i just get all used up - my creative energies that is. all used up.

and then, my biggest problem is it's hard for me to write, 'cuz i'll look at something i wrote in the past, and i'll try to top that. like i can't just write a regular review - it has to go deeper into something else. i just can't say this dvd was good, and the film, went like this, i always have to find some analogy, or go off and do some deep research. this is an example of what i'm talking about. just can't write regular and from the heart. and then i'm always finding ways to work in some metaphysical shit.

if i could just sit and write, w/out overthinking, i could probaly write like 5 meaningful pieces of prose a week, ok, no, maybe 2. where'd this thought come from? after sharing a conversation about writing with that kid nova (and i mean kid in all deepest affection - it's like using son for me - you know - how we use it in the hood), anyway, as he becomes more and more of a writer, and is perfecting his craft, it just got me to wondering about how i don't really use my gift anymore. i mean even here. the sentense structure i use here is so simple. so devoid of literary techniques, GRE words, etc. anyway, i'd like to see all folks who write, i'd just like to see them all feel really positively and strongly about their abilities.

i also come back to this now, b/c last week, an interviewer told me i couldn't really be classified a senior writer. i asked had she visited my site? she said no people don't have time to do that. i had to explain that i've been in the writing game since 1990 - i've written for newspapers, magazines, the Web, and books. she acknowledged my management experience, and hinted toward the fact that i was probably an entertainment writer and not a reporter/journalist. i asked again, did you visit my site? no. she asked for writing samples. i invited her again to visit my site. she asked me to fax her hard copies. why fax someone hard copies, when most (definitely not all) of the writing i've done in the past 4 years, is right here? i tried to explain that. i guess i won't be faxing her. that seems so antiquated to me anyway, especially since i even offered to send PDFs. but anyway.....

don't ever let anyone question your abilities, when you know the truth. and don't even question your abilities your own got damn self. you can, for the most part, become what you believe yourself to be.

posted by lynne | |

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