Lynne d Johnson

 

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02.18.02 04:04 AM

I have an addiction

I have an addiction. There. Whew! I can finally admit it. I'm addicted to the WWW. And well, lately, this diary. It all seems so strange that I should have such an affinity for this thing, especially since after being laid off by a dot.com in May my life has turned upside down. Shouldn't I despise dot.coms, the Web, and the Internet?

I mean things are ok. I'm in grad school, writing, teaching, have a part time job, and an internship. It's a paid one, thank you. But really, my life was dramatically different back then. For one thing, I had money. Had it all the time. I miss the money. I miss going out dancing and hitting the bars. Oh the Apple Martinis, Chocolate Martinis, and Cosmopolitans. Thought I couldn't live w/out them. Used to suck them up like water. I miss going to movies. Used to see a new one every week. I miss my friends. (Thinking to self: are they not around b/c I don't have time, or b/c I don't have money? Have to file that one away for later.)

But I've learned a few things about myself since being laid off. For one, I've learned to save money for cloudy days. I've learned that impulse shopping is not all it's cracked up to be. No, I don't need to own new shiny things as soon as they come out. That's a lot less gadgets, CDs, books, and magazines for me. I've learned I don't have to buy brand new items of clothing every week. Or boots. Or shoes. Damn, I miss that one. I'm a shoe freak. I've learned to appreciate the little things. And, I've finally figured out what I really want to do with my life. But more on that one another time. I really should get off this crazy thing and get some sleep. As usual, I'll have lots of work to do once I wake up. Lately, I've been missing writing and school assignment deadlines like crazy. Perhaps it's my addiction. Maybe, like so many other addictions, it has me so hooked. So much so that I just can't focus on anything else. I'll have to snap out of that one. Soon. I'll let you know how it goes.

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