Lynne d Johnson



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04.22.02 07:26 PM

Give Me Body

Lynne's Back Back on March 24 Cecily posted an entry entitled Power. And she said:

"As I lazily flipped through the pages, past the pictures of models representing "thin" and "tall" and "curvy", my eyes came to rest on a photo of Laila Ali, sparring with another female boxer whose name escapes me. I'd seen Ali before, but never really paid that much attention to her, mostly because of my distaste for the sport and my nagging suspicion that she's riding on her daddy's coat tails. This time, I was transfixed by her physique and one word came to my mind over and over again. POWER."

"Her legs were twin mahogany pistons, elegant and firm, with thighs so taut and sculpted they looked not so much like flesh as marble. Her arms were fluid and graceful, yet were a testament to her strength and dedication. It suddenly became obvious to me that this is the body I want. You can have your waifs, your lollipops, and your so-thin-you-can't-see-'em-if-they-turn-sideways lovelies, I want to be a girl-jock. I want a broad, expansive, powerful back like Venus Williams. I want arms so cut that when I wear sleevless blouses, women and men alike can't help but utter "Damn!" when I walk by. I don't want the grotesque bulk of female bodybuilders or professional wrestlers. I want to undo the years of societal and familial conditioning that pushed me away from my tomboy ways into being "a little lady." I want to tap into my body's power, to feel it pushing, sweating, straining, lifting and pulling. I want to see it change and take shape, to see it emerge from this place where it just doesn't seem possible, and I don't want to have to result to surgery, or starvation, or Richard Simmons to do it. The power is within me. I own it. The next step is to harness it."

I've been thinking about that post all month. Thinking about what my body once looked like nearly two years ago, give or take a little. Granted, I have very little body fat, but age is wearing on. And any woman knows that without excercise, things tend to happen to the body. Call it loss of gravity, if you will. I want to surpass the body I once had when I used to do push ups almost any time I had a moment to spare thoroughout the day. I want killer abs. Cut biceps and triceps. But of course in a shapely, sexy way. I keep talking about how I need time to do things, truth is, if you really want to do something, you'll make the time. The time is now. BTW, the photo is of my back about a year-and-a-half to two years ago.

I'm also seriously contemplating my life's mission, or at least my mission for the moment. Hardcore was discussing this very subject today over at Thought 4 The Day. How timely. You see folks, I have to figure out what I will be doing over the summer. Pretty much everything I am doing now, except my final semester of this MBA in Media Management, will end in June. Do I go back on unemployment, and simply enjoy my summer and worry about bills? Do I freelance? Do I consult? Am I writer, teacher, Web usablility expert? Am I all these things rolled into one? So many questions, so little time. But most important, money is a real critical factor in the thought process. I am also just so very much in burn out mode. I feel like I have been working non-stop ever since last year, with very little time for play. Oh how I want to be able to play again. If you want to help keep a sistah smiling while she is under massive amounts of stress, feel free to send a gift. I'll take anything from my wishlist, even used stuff. I'll be adding the wishlist to my menu soon too.

Now an update on site tools: netcomments should be back up in about a day or two, so you'll be able to post again and view comments from previous entries. Also going to start putting in name tags to work with comments better, it will also enable better linkage for folks who might want to reference a particular post or comment. I finally got all those meta tags out that told Google not to search the inner pages of my site, and I'm going to give it a couple of weeks to see if you can finally search within the contents of my domain. If not, I might consider using Atomz site search. Keep you posted. Until then, be peace.

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