get focused man

Thievery Corporation has a new disc coming out in October and it sounds awesome. George got a sampling of the tracks. He of course got first dibs since he made me a vanglorious MP3 disc a few months back. But I also want to continue to share the wealth. So holla' and I'll hit you off. Shhhh....don't tell nobody.

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If you still haven't downloaded

If you still haven't downloaded or purchased Slum Village's Trinity yet, I'd like to give you a little more encouragement. Just read the review to find out why this is going to be a hip-hop classic in the tradition of De La and ATCQ (that's Tribe for you slow folks).

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catching up

I haven't talked about my trip to Miami, mainly because I didn't think it was something anyone would really find interesting. But some of you have asked about my time away. Honestly, all I did was sit on the beach for an extensive amount of time every day until I got toasty brown and then burnt and peeled. The pic is from one of my most interesting nights. Rode in the Sebring drop top to a titty bar named Rolex. What I found fascinating was that most of the dancers looked bored to death. They had these vacant vapid looks on their faces as they jiggled their asses in the laps of patrons. The water and fruit punch cost as much as a mixed drink at a bar in New York. And believe me when I tell you that's expensive. A gentleman wearing a red T-shirt and either a doo rag or stocking cap (memory fails me) walked in who looked like Trick Daddy. Sure enough it was. Our barmaid, after taking out her own tip (what nerve), came over and asked if we wanted to meet him. We all vehemently declined. He was in and out of the joint very smoothly and quickly. I have questions about the dancers though. If a woman chooses exotic dancing as a career, shouldn't she at least look like she enjoys what she is doing or at least pretend that she is? And where is the fantasy, if half of the women are running around bucket naket or hurriedly sliding down and off their thongs, and lifting up their tops, almost as soon as they begin dancing?

Later that night we made our way to a reggae party at some hotel in Hollywood. I have to say that each time I visit Florida and attend a reggae jam, I hear the best dancehall and roots reggae that has ever been pressed to wax. The music was so good that I never sat down. I was winding my non hips and lithe waist all night long incessantly y'all.

Also saw the most insipid movie that not even Julia Roberts, Blair Underwood, nor Brad Pitt could save. This I found troubling since I don't at all remember Soderbergh's Sex, Lies, and
Videotape being quite as displeasing. I believe this review by Cynthia Fuchs at Popmatters just about sums up Full Frontal. Recently, back in New York City, I also peeped Stuart Little 2 and Spy Kids 2. Don't ask. I'll just say that I liked the first versions of both movies a lot more. Now let me get back to Miami. A sighting of a pool table from outside a large window attracted us to Laundry Bar, a full liquor bar and full service laundry mat. Go figure. I got beat in three consecutive pool games. I guess I better get my weight up.

Last week Donald stopped by the workplace and blessed me with 3 awesome CDs from my wishlist. It was good seeing him after a year. Of course we talk nearly every day via email and AIM, but it ain't the same. Speaking of my wishlist, I am a little bit pertubed vexed with Amazon. I'd like to thank Jessica for hitting me off with a surprise from the wishlist, but Amazon screwed up and allowed you to send me the same CD that Mo did. Although I was baffled for a second about your identity Jess, I finally remembered that Jason wished us both happy birthday on the same day. A million humble thanks to you, but I'm going to have to return this one and get something else off the list. I peeped your wishlist too, and trust there is something belated coming your way.

What else? Let me see. Well, netcomments' host pulled the plug — either too much bandwidth or CPU time being used. I know many of you are waiting for my move to MT, but similarly it (netcomments) is down with the free software movement and I'm kinda' feeling that. Besides it works well with my hand coding. There are great hopes that it will be back up in a couple of days, but if not, once I get this designer friend of mine to finish my new splash page and possible skin for the inside pages of my site, I'll move "A Day In A Life" over to MT.

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hip-hop's pervasiveness

Something like this had to happen sooner or later. Question is, is it a good or bad thing?

Lynette Hollaway, "Rhymers Taking Hip-Hop to Children's Bookshelves," The New York Times
There was a time when some popular hip-hop artists rhymed about settling scores with a Glock.

But now that the music has gone mainstream, LL Cool J, the man behind the 1990 hit single "Mama Said Knock You Out," and Doug E. Fresh, otherwise known as the human beat box, are hard at work at a different kind of rhyming. They are writing children's books...

...It remains to be seen whether the series will help children learn to read. The authors use slang and take license with the language in ways that may be difficult for children to comprehend.

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technolust

Jaguar gets a high grade from David Pogue at The New York Times Jaguar isn't perfect. The online help is abysmal, a few minor bugs remain, and Mac loyalists who already paid $129 for Mac OS X 10.0 or 10.1 may resent having to pay another $129 to stay current. Even so, Mac OS X 10.2 is the best-looking, least-intrusive and most thoughtfully designed operating system walking the earth today. No, you don't want to lick it. But you're delighted that you installed it — and for a hunk of software in this day and age, even that's quite an achievement.

How do you find bloggers? The New York Times wants to knowThe number of Weblogs now tops a half-million, by most estimates. So it's no surprise that some bloggers, as the writers of these link-filled, diarylike sites are known, are carving some order out of chaos.

There is no easy way to search for blogs by content or popularity. The major blog directory, at portal.eatonweb.com, has only 6,000 listings. But a bevy of new sites offer interesting ways, if somewhat esoteric ones, to browse the blog universe.

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thank yous

I am feeling extremely grateful right about now. Just because I put up this Wishlist it didn't mean that I actually expected anyone to purchase anything for me from there. That the Web has the power to do this — make virtual connections and relationships very real — well, is so amazing to me. I have to thank those of you who sent me gifts for my birthday. I haven't played or read anything yet, but as soon as I do I will talk about it here first.

Thanks to the following folks:
ej and prime for this and this
monique for this and this
jason for this and this

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music for packing

dr. buzzard's original savannah band — dr. buzzard's original savannah band
cake — fashion nugget
esthero — breath from another
koop — waltz for koop
omar — best by far
chocolate soul — the music compilation
res — how i do
meshell ndegeocello — cookie the anthropological mixtape
rae & christian — another late night
shuggie otis — inspiration information

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southbound

I'll be in SoBe the next few days chilling. See you when I get back.

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somebody spreading love up in here

ej and prime, y'all are such dahlings. got the packages today, but being the corny type o'chick that i am i'll probably wait a lil' bit closer to my actual day before i take the wrapping off. (but that will be before the day since i won't even be here then). totally unexepected. totally. a million thanks.

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he got game

"Controlled by the screens/ What does it all mean/ All this shit i'm seein/ Human beings scream vocal javelins/ Signs of a local nigga unravelin"-Public Enemy, "He Got Game"

Did I forget to mention? Yeah, I probably did. Martin Lawrence. What to say? Well, last week at the barbershop, while getting my caesar faded Runteldat was on and I was laughing. So I copped a bootleg from the barber before I left. Yes I did. No questions please. But what did I think? Hmm... I thought, ok, he hasn't lost it. Then I thought, not quite that funny. But mainly I thought, introspective. Very introspective. I started thinking, is it 1982? Am I watching Richard Pryor: Live at the Sunset Strip? The similarities are uncanny. And I'm not just speaking on the cussing. Perhaps it was both comics ability to laugh at their f'ups. To come on stage and divulge their own thoughts and feelings about how drug use almost cost them their careers, and well in Pryor's case — his life.

Now I am not suggesting that Lawrence is like the second coming of Pryor. Not at all. But Lawrence is something other than Chris Rock or Eddie Murphy. He is much more in the tradition of Pryor than any of the new-jack comedians out there. So I had a hearty laugh. And like I felt many years ago about Pryor — well, I felt sadness. Sadness at a black man being so lost within himself, that he can't even see himself. Not sure that one made sense y'all. But I'm trying. It's a hard feeling to explain. Making people laugh is an art, a talent, no doubt. But comic genius is even harder to come by. If it's your job to make people laugh — all the time — then do you have time to allow yourself to feel sadness? How about feeling lost? Of course I don't know if there are answers to these questions. On the upside though, Lawrence, it seems, has made a comeback.

chilling with the fam

On another note, yesterday was my last day of classes. But I have a few more things I have to finish working on. I'm feeling a little bit like a loser for not having been able to hand everything in on time. I just want to be able to wipe my brow, and say, Whew! My mom cooked me this awesome dinner in celebration of the completion of my Masters and also my 3X birthday (the b-day is actually the 17th). She feels these things are milestones. And while I appreciate her thoughtfulness, sometimes I wish she wouldn't make such a big deal. She originally wanted the entire fam to go out on a fancy restaurant excursion, but I suggested she cook instead. I didn't want my life (achievements) to overshadow my brother or sister's. I don't like to think of my mother as treating me differently than them, but in some ways maybe she does — I am her baby. But they hate on me enough already as it is. Don't get me wrong, they love their little sis, but sometimes I feel like they compare my life to theirs. I admire them both for who they are, and wouldn't even be who I am today had it not been for their support and guidance after my father died when I was 16. They were the ones who told me to go on with my life as daddy would've wanted. Because of them, I became driven and determined. They helped me to hold it together and to become a woman. I have my problems with them, no doubt, but overall they are my backbone, my glue.

ex-asperation

Complexities in the ex's new life has brought us closer lately. So much so that I have begun to feel more comfortable speaking about what is going on in my life. But I'm starting to think I revealed too much, and then maybe not enough. Ex read me last week for my current choice in playmate. I know that was a weird way to term it, but as I'm not ready to go the relationship route just yet that is the best word I can come up with right now. Anyway, ex really gave it to me. And I let those words burn me for like two days. Now I'm coming to realizations. 1. I still have a lot more work to do at sorting feelings out for ex. 2. I must have reservations about current playmate for ex's words to have been able to do so much harm. Of course, I was trying to find a way not to think of ex as hating, but instead tried to see ex as being a friend offering constructive criticism. On one hand though, I feel those opinions should have no affect on me. It isn't like I'm trying to get married or anything. I'm just having fun and meeting new people, and of course not trying to hurt anyone along the way. Life is too short to not pause and be able to simply live in the moment. A Zen Master once said, "Tomorrow is not real. It is an illusion. The only reality is now."

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ez listening

No reviews on any of these yet. It just happens to be what I'm listening to while I'm working. Some of it's old, and some of it's new. Of course on the new stuff, I have no opinions at this time. Cecily happened to meniton one of these joints in her daily dose the other day, and while I had it lying around I didn't think of popping it into the disc player until then.

cee lo — cee lo green and his perfect imperfections
st germain — tourist
jarvis church — shake it off
hidden beach recordings presents — unwrapped vol. 1
raphael saadiq — instant vintage

feelin' spiritualized 10:39:00 AM
Although I had it on my playlist last month, Jason's post
on Jazzanova's In Between has me listening to the disc like nearly e'rday. And like five times a day at that. It simply warms my soul. And I hope I get an opportunity to write about it, somewhere. Speaking of writing, I've still been doing some freelancing here and there. I've been doing terribly at updating the site when I get something published. Mainly, my most recent writing (basically reviews) has appeared in Mosaic, XLR8R, and New York Press. I've also got a review of Slum Village's Trinity in the most recent issue of VIBE with Alicia Keys on the cover, which should be on newsstands now. This issue is really exceptional. And I'm not just saying it because I work for the company either. If you never read the magazine again, or haven't read it in years, cop this one. It'll be worth your $3.99.

Last night, went to check out the Pulitzer Prize winning Topdog/Underdog. And no I wasn't hanging out when I should be focusing on finals. I'm actually using it for one of my assignments. The play had an extended run, and being a loyal Tele-Charge customer enabled me to secure $40 tix. While the play has an overall sad tone, Mos Def and Jeffrey Wright had me ROFL LMBAO. They are both phenomenal actors, and I hope this gets them more exposure on the big screen. The humor of the play thinly veiled some Cain and Able type ish, along with questions about race and humanity. I truly loved it.

Wow, you really just never know. I happened to check my stats and in following a link realized that I am this month's featured blogger on FemmeNoir.net. The unexpected seems to happen again and again. You really just never know.

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site maintenance

netcomments seems to be slowing the site and commenting down to a lull lately. perhaps that switch to movabletype may happen sooner than later. i am planning on an entire redesign, not just for the diary, but for the overall site. please bear with me during the transition. as you know, this is my final week of school, and next weekend i'll be going away to celebrate the completion of school and my birthday. but i do intend to pull things with the site together before month's end. hopefully you won't get impatient and leave me during the process.

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self-exposed

I know these don't really reveal all the detail that they could, but until I get someone else to take the pics this is all I got.

Udjat: This was my first tatt. I was in South Beach and it was around '97 (give or take a little). AKA Uatchet - The Ert, right solar eye of Ra - wisdom and enligtenment or Apep, energy of Ra, the power of darkness or evil. Ert is the same as Kundalini in yoga; it refers to cosmic energy generating within man: The Moyo/ Ureaus also symbolized the third eye (the eye of Ra)/ Ert is the symbol of the transforming energy from the soul: the seven levels of consciousness through the brain, spinal cord, endocrine relationships. The Ert brings the energy to the Black Dot. The Black Dot defines the hidden doorway of the collective innerconscious: The chaos, primeval waters, universal life field that nourishes all life forms, the hidden doorway through which the transforming soul energy of Ert passes. Ert-symbol of cosmic energy. Symbolic of activating the pineal gland. I.E. Heru is believed to resurrect during the Aquarian Age.

So that tatt rests somewhere between my throat chakra and my heart chakra, but on my back. (BTW, there is another pic of my back where you can see the exact placement of it that I posted back on April 22.) In placing the tatt directly on my spine, I always knew I would get another tatt and what that tatt would be. I just never knew when I would get it. Why my spinal column? Djed. That is the backbone of Wsr(Wsar) AKA Osiris, Ausar. The column represents the principle of stability bearing 4 elements which make for formal existence. Djed becomes Ka. Djed is symbolic of the spinal cord. The snake, Kundalini passes energy from the brains down and from the testicles up. So this brings me to the latest tatt. The one that I sat for four hours on Saturday night for, and which rests between my reproduction chakra and my root chakra. It's wings wrap around to my sides.

Khepera: AKA Khpr-Ra, Khpru, Khprer, Khpr, Kheper - transformation, resurrection, new life. The coming into being. The rising sun of life. Symbol of beetle. Also a form of Ra-Atum, which collectively forms a triad, three united in one.

According to Metu Neter Vol. 1, In the Kamitian (Ancient Egyptian) scripture, The Book of Knowing and Manifestations of Ra (about 2800 B.C.), we come across the following statements regarding Ausar, who is the symbol of the man, or woman who has completed his/her spiritual growth, enabling God to manifest itself in the world through him, or her: "I produced myself from primeval matter. My name is Ausars, from the primeval matter of primeval matter. I have succeeded in all that I have willed on earth...I was alone, not born were they. Not had I spit, in the form of Shu, not had I emitted Tefnut. I brought through my mouth, my own name, that is to say a word of power, and I, even I, came into being in the forms of the infinite power of being (Khepera)..."

Sitting for the outline was not that bad. It wasn't until I got to the final bits of shading that I realized sensations that I never knew existed. Those feelings were a little like sex, but also a little like a lot of pain. As Frankie Beverly and Maze would say, it was: "joy and pain are like sunshine and rain." But it made sense that I would experience those sensations in my nervous system, and an awakening within. This is truly my new beginning.

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freestyle fellowship

Is it just me, or is anyone else feeling like the Nappy Roots are like Goodie Mob Part II? Anyway, here's the freestyle AIM session with hardcore as promised. Some of it happened last week, and some of it today.

lynneluvah: this ain't no cabbage patch match/ out my mouth/ fire darts spray your back/ leaving you twisted and unwhole/ you ain't no spiritual rapper/ your rhymes ain't got no soul/ i'm getting bored/ somebody pass the remote control/ now you've entered the ring/ with a techie individual/ i'll hack your rhymes/ give 'em worms and viruses/ beat you with my third eye/ like that sun of osiris did/ don't you know who the blood clot i is/ like isis, hathor, and maat/ i'm the cybermamma in this here cast/ and if you dance with me/ you haffi finish last

Ambiv The Sinful: i'm so fly/flap my wings slow/and i go high/spit, wet you up with a verse/and watch you blow dry/shit/sometimes i feel like i'm cursed/i cast spells/ that spell words/that dwell on my pad/i'm so bad/that Mike/you be the one/i'm the two/Tito be like 99/ i'm so cool/my drool/makes rhyme pools/ and emcee chill in it/but i'm so cold they freeze/all my raps are frigid/i'm large and small digits/separated by commas/soon to be an eight figure nigga/ fuck Jigga

Ambiv The Sinful: i break fast for breakfuss/i fuss and exit/i hunch a heiffer naked/lunch and dinner be another sinner/but in between time/i fill the the gaps with lean rhymes/99% pure dope/no filler/9 to 5 making scrilla/scribbling rhymes on the leaves of/ trees resting in peace/piece together my words/observe/as i serve/herbs a style that plantinum plaque cats/can't match/it's like that/hardCore the cookie maker/watch me go/got tall stacks of chocolaty chips/I love dough/so if you see me go coo-coo/it ain't for Puff/down with Pac till I die/I hate that bad boy stuff

lynneluvah: when i enter a party i'm gonna turn it out/ i'm the type of chick nikka's brag about/ wanna don me on their arm/ keep my sheets warm/ and when i wake up in the morn/ i be like it's deaded be gone/ don't make me drop no bombs/ get irate and shuck you like corn/ nah it ain't no flase alarm/ and if you think i'm joking/ watch me bring the heat like that x-man storm

Ambiv The Sinful: brown taurus/in concrete forest/my bulls eye/eyes the bull market/and the one with the pull/kinda bull headed/the best/like Mike with the Bulls/i hate bullies/i bulled over bullies at school/i often bull shit/in Cali/ocean waves and a breeze/i drop the dopest shit without bending my knees/tell Nas he tripping/this world/i rule/and if you disagree/yo/you talking that bull

lynneluvah: i'm not no prada bytch/ talkin' that don dadda shyt/ i deals with real life issues/ i'm talking cells, membranes, and tissues/ like how that baby got born/ out of wedlock/ blueprint scripted/ life of hard knocks/ mamma pops rocks at the crack spot/ and baby daddy got locked/ ups and downs so the story goes/ not a chance in life/ like a snow ball in hell

Ambiv The Sinful: God said and then there was/power of words get blurred/beats race pens/words never win/earholes within/are finishlines/bass thumps for assholes in ignit line/for empty club/and you thought/only people front/just look out front/100 folks in line/ten people on the list/got the whole club to themselves/while the masses freeze out side/politics are political

lynneluvah: i flip the script, in other words text/ put em in context/ for the nappy heads to digest/ spitting verbs, nouns, metaphors and more/ multisyllable/ that's what i'm giving you/ dealing in similes constructed in pentameter/ like osama i hits hard when i damage ya'/ catch me out driving in a TT roadster/ top down/ sipping on some syrup/ wit my girls and dem in da background/ we ride mad blocks round town/ that's how we get down

Ambiv The Sinful: i got it bad and that ain't good, cause when i had it good i laughed at those who had it bad, i was tripping/ now i flip through my ex-files home alone sipping/ karma is the worst of the best of ass whippings/ i drink about her, stare at the past drift and think about her/ speak about her when around friends, go home and ink about her/ wishing God would sprinkle powder over my soul/ something magical to help a nikka get over her/ i'm stuck/ this rut that i'm in/ i can't win/ getting full, but feeling empty inside, i wanna hide/ to forget the hurt, i rip skirts/ but these ladies don't love me, and i don't love them/ next day i feel worst/ fill page with skilled verse/ burn sage to kill curse/ laying in my bed meditating, the phone rang/ my ex-file got a new man, says she loves him/ the cat she said was "Just A Friend?"/ guess he wasn't/ now in my trunk, i bump the Biz with a new understanding/ my favorite song? "Otha Fish" in the sea/ just the Pharcyde and me/ bait, and my fishing pole/ this shit i used to do for fun AIN'T fun i'm getting old/ i'm complex, like big words out of context/ like L.L. "when i'm alone in my room....."/ i often stare at the walls, big C, women luv me/ 3 of the D's baddest like me, it don't excite me/ 38-24..................and when they wiggle/ the 36 they got on the back slowly jiggles/ yo, i got it bad son....................and that ain't good/ so to the words of Whodini i groove/ "i guess it's better to have loved, and to have lost than to never have loved at all

lynneluvah: on a journey/backtrack to the past/ a story of love/ like how that shyt don't last/ promises, hearts broken/ words, apologies unspoken/ when love is good/ it's that food you need/ but when it's bad/ it pricks/ you bleed/ so today/ i play/ indifferent on the next/ calculate my cool steeze/ keep my emotions in check/ just learning not to expect/ but living life without regret/ cuz i can't circumvent/ yeah, what you give is what u get

For those of you just checking in, here is the first session that happened back in June.

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final stretch

I've been MIA. I know. I'm in the final days of school with barely enough brain power or energy to do what I have to do. As promised though, I'll be posting the latest freestyle AIM session I had with hardcore last week. And then I'll also have pics of my latest tatt. It took four hours and a high threshold and/or tolerance for pain, but it was worth it. Finally got it done last night and it's a real beauty. More to come soon.

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